The Irony of my Paddys Day 2021.. The day I decided to give up the booze

Between my post-natal depression and then trying for, making and rearing babies, there’s been very few times in the last 5 years where I’ve had an opportunity to drink. So even though I loved my girly nights of pornstar martinis, the late bar dancefloor and the late bar after party (you get the drift – I could party) each night took so much out of me that it was becoming harder and harder to justify it. No matter how harmless the night was, I would be crippled with the fear, the hangover and the exhaustion for a few days after. It was like my body and mind had gotten used to being treated well and so completely rejected this old habit of mine.  

The night before Paddy’s Day 2021, one of my best mates came to our house to have a few drinks (Covid style) outside. We had four drinks and yet the next day, I was a right off. It was a beautiful sunny day yet I spent it “surviving” behind my sunglasses instead of doing what I had planned. (Green pancakes, Irish music all day, a parade in our garden). I went to bed that night with the decision made. There is no place for alcohol in my life. It does not support the person I want to be and the love and light I want to give to my family, my friends, the world.

And do I miss it? Since I gave it up I have had a handful of times where I thought about having a drink and neither of those times have I wanted it enough to break the pledge. Hand on heart 99% of the time I feel absolutely amazing for it. For me, the pros of not drinking completely outweigh the cons.

And when I was writing down the highlights of my 2020 year in my journal, I didn’t even mention it. I had completely forgotten about it. When I eventually remembered this decision I had made, that I had given up alcohol after 20 years of a loving relationship with it, I really thought about why I had forgotten to write it down. And the reason is, it feels like I have always supposed to be this way. Alcohol is a resistant to my authentic self and the memories I have of it are harsh, they are hangovers, exhaustion, anxiety. Giving up alcohol has made me so much happier and more content.

So if you’re on the fence and you think you want to give it up but you mightn’t be able for it.  If I can, you 100% can and not only that, you will feel absolutely amazing for it!